Tis The Season
by Being A Wall Flower Rocks
Summary: Christmas one-shot.


**Hello everyone! I know it's a bit early for Christmas, but I got this idea and had to write it down. The story is very, very factually wrong in relation to the books, and doesn't fit in anywhere in the story line. I basically just used the characters and the situation of the characters to make a completely random story. Also, I only realized after finishing the story that I forgot to add in Malcolm or Ella, so there's that. And, lastly, sorry if it sucks... ****  
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**Disclaimer: I own everything. Even the ground beneath your feet. (Kidding, I own nothing.)**

* * *

"So, what are we going to do for Christmas?" Sarah asks, taking a bite of her sandwich.

All of the guard turn to look at her, excluding Nine, who continues to do push ups on the ceiling.

"What's Christmas?" Marina asks, genuine curiosity in her voice. Sarah chokes on the food in her mouth. Coughing a few times to clear her throat, she looks at her companions in comical shock.

"You... Christmas... What?!" She manages. Sam watches on with slight enjoyment. "What do you mean 'What's Christmas?'?"

"Is that another word for New Year's Day?" John asks innocently. Sarah stares at her boyfriend in horror.

"No, no. Isn't Christmas the one with the chocolate bears?" Eight says, proud of himself for potentially getting it right. Nine jumps down from the ceiling, standing between Sarah and Sam with a hand on each's shoulder, he says

"Let's see how long it takes for them to figure it out." Growing up in a big city, Nine was well aware of the holiday.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Six says. "They're rabbits, and they're for Easter." Sarah leans forward in her seat, waiting for Six to set the record straight. "Christmas is the one with the turkey." Sarah puts her face in her hands.

* * *

During the long argument about the December holiday, Sarah discovered that the guard knew about almost every other holiday throughout the year, except for Christmas. Unlike Nine and Sam, She couldn't stand around and watch her friends argue about one of the most important holidays of the year.

She gathered everyone in front of Nine's computer, bringing up a page from Wikipedia.

"Christmas Day is celebrated as a major festival and public holiday in countries around the world," Sarah reads aloud.

"Who the fuck is that?" Six suddenly shouts, causing everyone to stare at her. She was pointing at a picture of Santa.

"I believe that's a fat red dude breaking into that little girls home." Eight says thoughtfully.

"Aww, he's kind of cute!" Marina says.

"Cute? He has a sack, probably to kidnap that poor girl." Six replies.

"And he's going through her chimney... is that code for something?" John asks.

"That's Santa Claus!" Sarah shouts, finally fed up. "_He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. So be good for goodness sake!_" She sings, much to the Gardes horror.

"He's a criminal!" Marina accuses.

"We have to stop him!" Eight says, pounding a fist into his open hand.

"He's not coming here right? This place doesn't have a chimney." John adds.

"He kind of looks like Rolf Harris." Six comments, once again causing everyone to stare. "What? He has the beard, the belly, the thing for kids..." She trails off at Sarah's glare.

"You know about Rolf Harris, but not Santa?" Sarah asks. Six just shrugs.

"He was on the news a lot."

For the second time that day Sarah gives up.

* * *

By the time Christmas day comes, the Garde have been educated in the area of Santa, and decide to celebrate the holiday. More for the human's benefit than anything else.

When Sarah wakes up that morning she honestly doesn't expect the holiday to even be mentioned, so when she reaches the living room, the surprise is even more... well, surprising.

Everyone is standing next to a tall Christmas tree with piles of wrapped presents beneath it. They're all wearing tacky seasonal sweaters and Santa hats, except Six, who refuses to associate with Santa in any way.

"Merry Christmas!" They all shout.

Sarah laughs at them, and says, "Where did you get all those boxes?"

"They were in convenience store down the road," Six says, "They didn't seem to be using them so..."

"Don't worry, they're empty." Eight assures.

"And what about the tree?" Sarah asks.

"Same place," Nine replies, "And while these boxes are empty, we did get you a present." He slowly walks over to John, who raises an eyebrow at him. Nine then pulls his hand out from behind his back and slaps a large red ribbon just above John's crouch onto his pants. John blushes furiously as he tries to remove the ribbon while Sarah and the others laugh at his expense. "Brand new, never been used!" Nine shouts.

"Come on, Marina made breakfast!" Eight calls as he runs to the dining room. Everyone else follows suit, everyone apart from John. Who is still trying to get rid of the ribbon.

* * *

**Remember to review! Even if it's to tell me how much it sucked :)**

**Sorry it's so short...**


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